Chapter 2
There Is No Death
I will begin today with a sampling of my thoughts. This I have been reviewing for a long time. I have come to believe that the facts of why I am here is because I had to learn much about my intentions
Intentions seem to be the motivating factor where I exist. It is not so much what one accomplished or what they did not accomplish while on earth, but rather what were the intentions when the acts were performed.
Living the life as Caesar, I believed that what one accomplished was the most important event in one‚s life. Here, I find that that is not the case. I have seen people that I would have called failures, rise to the higher levels because they intended and tried to accomplish their life‚s goals.
The goals of which I speak were jobs taken on before they came into their lifetime on earth. Spirit only wants one to keep on the agenda so to speak. Results don‚t seem to be of value in this progress.
One progresses according to what ideal was selected before the lifetime and whether or not the soul kept to that ideal. Another guideline in the judgment seems to be how difficult was the agenda. Some goals are easier to obtain than others.
I would consider laziness and sloth a problem in attaining goals, and so does spirit. One must be willing to put forth effort. Intentions can be good. One can keep to their ideals, but there must also be a desire to move along on the path towards accomplishing the dream.
If one has a goal that they have kept foremost in their minds and it was a good goal, they must also put forth the effort to overcome the obstacles put to them in life and overcome the negative forces that are working against them.
I have had a long time to contemplate my life and I am not proud of it. From this position, I look at my life with regret, and judge it small and mean. I had everything. I had the power to change many lives for the better. I had gone to the pinnacle of power. I had control of a great empire that reached across the known world. I had the power to influence much in my life and I led human depravity to perhaps its highest point.
We used crucifixion as a means of removing obstacles, revolts of humans, punishment for the sake of exercising power. We sold many people into slavery and killed many people. I am not proud of any of my lifetime. In all fairness though, I did bring about some reforms and allowed people to become Roman citizens. They prospered under that status.
But as I look back over my lifetime, I thought then that I was making a good life for the citizens of Rome, now I would judge them as becoming lazy and lacking in industry because they had others to labor for them. They led shallow lives because the rich lived life frivolously because of slavery.
The slave lived in poverty. Even those who were able to receive some funds for their labors worked under the demands and yoke of others no matter that some found a life more pleasant than others. It appears to me that many times the slave led a more noble life than the slave owner.
Noble people can overcome their difficulties. People who have not formed an idea of integrity bounce around according to the last whim coming from their own mind or the influences of another. Strong people working under their own ideals, and focused upon sound morals, who try and improve their abilities for themselves and others, are admired from this side of life.
If I could give one message, it would be that there is no death. No one dies. The body may wear out and cease functioning, or there may be an accident or an intention to stop life by yourself or another, but there is no death when one crosses over to my side.
Everything that was done will be reviewed by yourself, and others. If I had focused my thoughts on this and had believed it, I would have led my life differently. I was so focused on money, that I had no idea of what was really important in life.
I also believe that people are such that they will not take the advice of another. They will lead their lives according to what is in their hearts, but I have to give the warning.
I have lived many years in agony, not being able to progress to another state. The worst of it is that I know that other states exist where people are happy and there is beauty. I have seen glimpses of it when the light shone for others and they made it to the light. When I tried to get there, the door was closed. It was like some operating force was determined to keep me here. They didn‚t communicate with me and tell me when it was my turn. I would rush to these points where the curtain opened only to be pushed down in the most object despair when I couldn‚t get through.
It is like being on a desert, thirsting and seeing a watering hole only to find out it was a marriage. This has continued for a very long time. It is also discouraging to find that those who followed me and had great respect for me are here also. I face them and I despair of ever getting them and myself out of this place.
And now healing has been promised to me. I can‚t tell you what that thought means to me. I only wish to be released from this state. Hopefully this will not be another lie. I hope I will see the light and move towards it and no one keeps me from obtaining that state through the doorway of gray. I pray to my gods that I can take myself, and my companions through that doorway and soon.
I don‚t wish to give the impression that I have been here alone with my thoughts. It may seem that way, but I have had the privilege of being taught by advanced beings. There are those from another plane who come and talk to us. They have given us encouragement and have told us of a time when someone would come and heal us and take us to another place through a doorway of compassion and love.
I didn‚t understand that until I saw you again, and then I began to understand what those statements meant. We must be healed from the past and someone else who would have compassion towards us. Those who held no compassion must wait for someone who would offer compassion to them. Interesting isn‚t it? We must wait for something that we didn‚t give to others.
In this world it seems to be forthcoming. There seems to be compassion among some who would work for those who have despaired.
Comments by Carolyn Evers:
Holding Julia Caesar‚s memories, I realized that she had a great personal resentment towards her father, though she admired him greatly as a Roman.
Julia loved her mother dearly, yet her mother had committed suicide when Julia was a young child because of how Caesar was living his life. Julia never forgave her father for this loss. Cornelia‚s reasons for her actions are listed under her commentary elsewhere in this book.
When Caesar killed the man that Julia loved, her heart had turned to stone towards him, never to be warmed again. I had relived those memories between the two of them, and I could see and hear the emotional confrontation between them after the event. I again felt Julia‚s devastation, and her revulsion towards her father. I felt his indignation towards her and his complete dismissal of her as a person. He was the paterfamilias of the family and felt completely vindicated of any wrong in the situation.
Julia‚s feelings at the time were that if she had been a man and strong enough, she would have killed him. Her father had dismissed her love for another as something unimportant, and walked out of the room not caring that he had destroyed her.
When Caesar started speaking to me of what he was experiencing in the Bardo, my heart went out to him, and I wanted to help. I started to feel my compassion growing for this man. I could then see his plight as a human being and I could allow myself to forgive. I felt then that the events of the past had happened a long time ago, and I was willing to release them. I was starting to feel a love for him as a daughter for a father.
I found that releasing Caesar from the Bardo was not this simple though; there were other wrongs that needed to be corrected. There were many Roman soldiers that had died in battles and their deaths were so sudden that they hadn‚t realized that they were dead. Some of these men were wandering in the etheric, their minds feeding on past memories so they were in a sense, stuck between two worlds and not understanding that they had to go towards the light. They were still reliving an existence of past battles as legionnaires. Some people might call these individuals ghosts. No matter what you call them, Caesar had a responsibility to see that these men were released also.
There was another group of Roman commanders that Caesar mentioned were with him. As I see it these were men of responsibility and carried out orders and led men into battle and planned in the killing of the enemy. One might consider that these men carried more responsibility for war and needed a healing from these past events, and it was not just a case of leading them towards the light.
I will share with you how these situations were resolved, but for now I will continue with Caesar‚s story. I had asked him to share with me some historical facts as he remembered them and his opinions concerning that lifetime.
Not only was he willing to comply with my request, but he gave me some opinions from a spiritual perspective, drawing upon memories of a previous lifetime and his planning before a planning board before he came into that lifetime as Caesar.
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